Compassion at Work

Hey Friends!

As many of you know, I rely on my mind to serve business leaders in corporate America and my heart to serve individuals along their healing journey. In both capacities, I shepherd aspirations and initiatives by helping people find their way when lost, experiencing overwhelm, and unsure how to get out of the way of themselves. This appears through my project leadership in the corporate setting and Depth Hypnosis and Shamanic counseling in an individual or small group setting. If you want to learn more about me and my podcast journey, give Episode Two a listen!

Knowing this, I'm often asked about practical ways I bridge what I do in my client healing practice with my business consulting practice. In this episode, I'll talk about compassion at work and share pragmatic ways you can bring kindness into your work and your life. I'll do this through the lens of being awake and whole as a light being and how that looks in a work setting through practices and acts of kindness.

More specifically, I'll cover

• What it means to be compassionate
• Ways to integrate humility at work
• How to establish routines for humanity

So let's dive in!

Practicing Compassion

Lately, I've been looking at practicing compassion and how it looks in my life, home, consulting practice, and healing practice. More specifically, I'm exploring how it can appear. It may take shape as self-compassion, kindness toward others, teaching compassion, or practicing compassion at work.

Compassion at work? Yes! It does happen! I've seen corporate values weave compassionate practices into how they support their mission. HR groups have built compassionate cultures through various activities and efforts. But, at the end of the day….it comes down to us. You, me, and us together.

What Does It Mean to be Compassionate?

I'm taking a 30-second time out to differentiate between being compassionate and being empathetic, as I feel they're mistakenly used interchangeably. And while compassion and empathy are very similar in meaning, they have significantly different effects on you.

Being empathetic and compassionate is genuinely appreciating what one is experiencing with love and without judgment. The difference is that an empath takes on the other person's feelings. So not only do you acknowledge and regard what one is experiencing - you physically feel it too. Let's say your dear friend is grieving the loss of a loved one. She's devastated and emotionally overwhelmed by pain and heartache. 

If you're an empath, you take on these feelings. These feelings are absorbed and drain your energy system. Whereas, if you hold and embody compassion as you comfort your grieving friend, you hold space and love for all her feelings without taking on the emotions. In other words, you're so full of compassion and loving-kindness that there's no room to absorb others' feelings.

OK...where was I? Compassion at work. Right. The other day, I revisited a book I read a few years ago by Thupten Jinpa, a Tibetan Buddhist, called 'A Fearless Heart.' He describes what it means to practice compassion at work in a handful of ways.

• Establish routines towards humanity
• Integrate humility into the way you work
• Take responsibility to lead
• When in doubt, rely on your moral integrity
• Have self-respect for the company, staff, and clients

I love these. Each of these suggestions rings true to me. So, whether I'm leading a project for one of my business clients, guiding an individual along their healing journey, or showing up as a wife, parent, or friend, these practices are a beacon of light in every scenario.

Yet, the two practices that are in my bone marrow and apply in all situations are establishing routines towards humanity and integrating humility into my work. So let's unpack these two approaches to practicing compassion. 

Establishing Routines Towards Humanity

Admittedly, establishing routines towards humanity is something I find tightly threaded to everything I do in life - especially when integrating humility into my work. 

Here are some of my routines towards humanity that I bring into the workplace when working with my business consulting client.

• Acknowledge and praise efforts. This simple practice brings people into the limelight rather than just showcasing their work. Sharing recognition with those that contributed towards an accomplishment is HUGE! Everything we do at work depends or relies on something or someone else. For example, this episode was inspired by Thupten Jinpa's book, and my small but mighty team of experts helped me polish up this episode and publish it. Together, we directly/indirectly contributed to the success of my podcast!  
• Offer help where your expertise lies and is welcomed or needed. Sometimes people are so *in* the work that they cannot see that support is readily available to them. And I've personally found my offers to help are more graciously accepted when I say something like, "How can I support you?". Or "How can I provide you relief in meeting this deliverable?". Or my go-to is to say, "Allow me to do this, so you can do that." These approaches go much further than the "Let me know if you need my help." And, of course, read the person and their energy to perceive whether they're ready to entertain and receive your offer to help. Timing is everything!
• Connect with people at a human level. There is more to a person than how they show up at work. And one way to connect with a peer, at a personal level, is to remember some unique facts about them. You know. Something that really makes a person light up when they talk about it. Then periodically ask about it. I had a client who referenced using "cards" to help steer her each day. I gently probed and learned she relied on Tarot cards to give her the guidance she needed to show up that day or manage meetings or her work. So when we felt at a loss to solve a problem, I asked about the card she pulled that day for additional guidance and to tap into a personal aspect of herself. It was always a welcomed form of compassion to deepen our connection. So, remember, colleagues are also parents, spouses, friends, creatives, and magical beings – learn about them and from them!
• Check in with people as a whole. Simply and genuinely ask, "How are YOU doing? I mean, how are you REALLY doing?". The emphasis paired with the second question is a subtle yet powerful combo that lets a person know that you wholeheartedly see them and care about them.

I imagine some of these practices are second nature for you and already established. Brava! Or perhaps you're skillful with them in your workplace but still working to bring it home and practice with your family. No judgment. The beauty here is that compassion is welcomed everywhere!

Integrating Humility at Work

The other one of Thupten's suggested ways to practice compassion at work that I just love is to integrate humility at work. While similarly related to the practice of establishing routines towards humanity, I view integrating humility as a softer, elusive, and sometimes implied way of working in a job setting. 

You probably find that you do these things and perhaps didn't think of it as being compassionate. So here are some things to noodle on…

• The act of giving someone the benefit of the doubt. I've found that what appears at the surface level often has a web of roots below it. So, when something seems odd to you, ask about it with genuine curiosity. No filters. I've found that this kind gesture provides a safe haven for someone to open up to what's happening below the surface. And once you have that understanding, you can appreciate their intention even more.
• The act of using "we" instead of "I" when possible – "We" is a powerful word. It's also a word that's inviting and encouraging. "We can do this!" motivates me to be a part of the solution. "I got this!" is isolating and can be deflating to the team supporting the effort. "We, as a collective, have the answers and expertise to get this work down" is empowering. "I will complete this and report back." is disempowering and disabling. Equally important is having the wherewithal to know when using "we" is detrimental. There was a situation where I made a mistake on a client engagement. I overinvested in a project deliverable before confirming with my client whether that's where they'd like to invest my time and expertise. If I used "we made a poor decision" instead of "I made a poor decision," - I would not be showing kindness or compassion towards my client - not to mention doing a disservice to my reputation.
• Presenting an idea or outcome knowing there may be another one as good or better. This tactic is accepting that there are more than just your ideas. And having the mindset that there are other ideas out there keeps you and your team open to finding the best solution. Another way to look at this is through the Buddhist notion of non-attachment and letting go of the Self. This concept invites you to engage with experience and flexibility without focusing on achieving a specific outcome. Being too attached to the end result or other ideas besides your own is self-sabotaging. So with kindness and compassion, you'll sense when it's best to be unattached to the outcome and when to stay the course to meet a work deliverable. 
• Discerning what is yours and what is not. This subtle tactic is the most profound. It reminds you to reflect on instances, decisions, or situations that trigger you and to know what is yours and what is not. What I mean by this is that when something is asked of you that triggers a heavy emotion like anger, frustration, or even judgment, then see that as an invitation to look inward. More often than not, an imbalance or friction in your external environment (ahem, hello work) reflects an internal imbalance. Let me make this tangible. Earlier in my career, when I was an employee, I had a manager I felt no matter what I did - it was never good enough. There was something I forgot or should've done differently. I was triggered by this person for most of the time we worked together. I had so much adversity towards them but pretended all was good. Since then, I realized our working relationship was all about me and nothing about them. It was a mirror of my imbalance about feeling not good enough. So having a compassionate discernment practice can be the richest form of self-care in work and life!

Oh, this topic is sooooo good. The ways you bring pure kindness into your workplace also serve as subtle teachings of compassion to your peers and colleagues. The workplace is a playground to refine these practices, so they bridge into how you show up with your family, friends, strangers, enemies, and - most importantly - yourself.

Full Circle

So, to come full circle, this episode is a collection of practical ways I root compassion and loving-kindness by bridging my individual healing practice with my business consulting practice.

I hope you found these pragmatic ways palatable and can adapt, mold, and bring them into your work and life. And I'd love to hear of ways YOU practice compassion at work, as I'm sure I can learn from you! So, drop me a message on any social platform or at podcast.sparkpathhealing.com and share your tried and true practices of compassion at work.

Main Takeaways

The main takeaways from today's episode are...

• Being compassionate is genuinely appreciating what one is experiencing without judgment. And at the same time, you hold space and tons of love for all their feelings. That way, you do not take on the emotions because you're so full of compassion and loving-kindness that there's no room to absorb others' feelings.
• Establish routines towards humanity by any of these practices.
• Acknowledge and praise efforts.
• Offer help where your expertise lies and is welcomed or needed. 
• Connect with people at a human level.
• Check in with people as a whole.
• Integrating humility at work is a softer, elusive, and sometimes implied way of working in a job setting. They may be acts of...
• Giving someone the benefit of the doubt.
• Using "we" instead of "I."
• Presenting an idea or outcome knowing there may be another one as good or better.
• Discerning what is yours and what is not. 
• Compassion at work bridges beautifully as compassion at home, in the community, and with yourself. So take what you loved from this episode and apply it to these other parts of your life. After all, all these parts make you whole.

See you in next week's episode. I honor the divine in you.