Traveling Abroad with Family

Hey Friends.

As I wrap up my mini-series highlighting our summer travels, this episode is about traveling abroad with family. Of course, there are hundreds of heartfelt and inspirational quotes about family travels. But that's NOT what this episode is about. Instead, I'm sharing what can happen in the material and subtle worlds when you adventure past the comforts of your home and travel abroad with your family - or those you select as your family.

Come join me!

Ok. So our intent when traveling overseas with our family for our summer vacations is to show our daughters how big, expansive and beautiful our world is. We want to show them that life's grander than ourselves, our home, our neighborhood, our state, or even our country. And through this worldly view, our biggest wish is for them to experience humility and celebrate humanity. And what we truly experienced this summer was the strength and potency the family role plays in this storyline.

Experience Humility

What I mean by this is to experience what it's like to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Because when you do this, you are guaranteed to experience humility and compassion. And along with that, you learn about adversity and how to adapt to circumstances or situations.

I'll expand on this by painting the backdrop to help visualize what this really looks like. So. When we travel, we like to stay in a place for an extended time and live like a local to grasp what it's like to adapt to their way of living. And we do this through home exchanges. We swap homes with other families in other countries. So not only do we save money, but it allows us to live in small towns deep in the hills, quaint neighborhoods outside busy cities, and even remote locations tucked along a coastline. 

By doing this, we shop at the local market for groceries and sometimes make meals with very few or even new ingredients. We prepare our food in modest kitchens with limited space. We befriend neighbors to learn about them and hear their stories by stretching ourselves to speak their language and appreciating them stretching themselves to speak our language. We care for the homes we stay in and the vehicles we use - like we would our own home. And sometimes, that means trips to a hardware store, fixing a leaky drain, or defrosting a freezer because your daughter didn't close the door all the way. Or finding a carwash to return the vehicle a little bit better than we found it. You get the picture. It's unpretentious and 1000% real life. And it's completely livable and fully sustainable.

Unassuming living also extends into basic necessities like getting to a destination, asking where the bathroom is, ordering from a menu, purchasing a train ticket, asking how much it costs, and everything in between. So yes, Google Translate is helpful but sometimes not accessible or practical. And that's when you rely on loving kindness, finding peace and ease in the discomfort, and being humble with the results, knowing that sometimes the results look different than expected. And that's ok. 

You adapt. You also adjust the same way when you have certain expectations going into a country, visiting a site, or experiencing an event. And those expectations surprise you in delightful ways you never imagined. You also adapt. And that might look like your daughter in complete awe and entirely consumed by the magic of the Harry Potters Studio Tour outside of London. She describes that experience as "super cool" and "way better than expected." And this says a lot from this daughter that's even-keeled and chill. So, when traveling in new countries, we've learned that adapting, shifting, and pivoting - for the ups and downs, is a constant. 

And you know what? There are countless times you learn how simple life can be. For example, when shopping for food, you purchase only what's needed for a few days. There are no bulk items to buy and no place to store them in the homes. Speaking of no place to keep things, it reminds me of the freezer portion of refrigerators. They're small and, in some cases, tiny. I felt embarrassed that, at some point, I thought it was necessary to have two refrigerators in our home so we'd have ample space to store perishable food. It turns out I wasn't feeding an army - only our family of...four. Sheesh!

Celebrate Humanity

This celebration is subtle and easy to overlook. But when you live like a local, an interesting observation is how slow and simple life is. And when you slow down, you notice and take in more. You see how captivating humanity can be.

This especially came through when traveling in Central America and becoming students of the indigenous Ngöbe-Buglé. They showed our family how they farm by naturally planting native plants together, not rows and rows of the same crop. They shared how by doing this, the plants support each other and protect each other from disease and harsh weather. In addition, it strengthens and enriches the land's vegetation, production, and overall well-being. We witnessed how crops like Cocoa are harvested and ground using natural tools. And how pure raw Cocoa tastes without being overprocessed and blended with excessive sugar. We were honored and completely humbled to be in their gentle presence and learn about them, from them - through their experiences and their stories.

And while experiences like that were insightful and inspiring, other parts of this trip to Central America were alarming. By learning more about their cultures from their recollection of history, I saw how arrogant, overbearing, and manipulative Americans have been and witnessed the scars left by this mentality and drive. So many times during those summer travels, I felt ashamed and uncomfortable being an American. I saw how biased my education and upbringing were - not by my parents - but by the imbalances in consumption, capitalism, and societal privileges. And by experiencing this, I can play my part - with my family - and see things differently. We can honor one's uniqueness and what they have to offer. And when we do this - admittedly, it's a continual practice on the daily - it wakes our family up to celebrate others.

1. Woah - that went in a direction I wasn't expecting. So to bring this back to practical and relatable ways that traveling abroad with family creates fertile grounding to celebrating humanity - here's a rapid-fire of real-life situations. 

• You constantly observe your surroundings. And by doing so, you learn about the people, traffic, food, craft, lifestyle, and even the flow of the words.
• You experience the power of a smile - especially when, in some instances, all you see of the woman is her captivating eyes.
• You play a part through acts of kindness and rely on lots of s'il vous plaît and merci beaucoup, and por favor and muchas gracias and si us plau and moltes gràcies. 
• You graciously accept help when offered, and we are beyond grateful for the several Parisians who assisted us in one of our most vulnerable situations from this summer's travels. 

Family Nucleus

And at the heart of all this - is the family's role in these experiences during our travels. You may relate based on your own family travels or those you selected as "family" and travel with.

I found the family nucleus essential in our travels out of the country - especially after this summer. As we experienced humility and celebrated humanity through our travels - we 100% relied on our family as the lifeline that provided life support. 

We turned to this nucleus for safety, encouragement, to be rescued, for advice and relief. And when you're traveling in new countries, traversing new land, speaking new languages, and relying on new currencies - this nucleus becomes small and vital. It's truly the life preserver that saved us when overwhelmed, scared, and uncomfortable. 

Sadly, it's the same core unit we took out our frustration and anger - through hurtful and spicy words. Here's how that looked. We get off the Metro after traveling over an hour on a train without air conditioning on a record-hot day (carrying our large luggage), and one of our daughters says to my husband, "do you even know where you're going?". My husband almost lost his mind. We were all feeling raw and exposed. I felt equally annoyed by her comment yet was just as overheated and exhausted as she was. Yet, I also felt so much compassion for my husband. He was carrying the burden of figuring out where we were and which direction to go to our next destination. I knew we had taken that for granted, and he felt unappreciated. 

And to carry this story a bit further, the silver lining to sticky situations like this - literally and figuratively - was that we shared the responsibility of navigating a map for daily excursions from that point forward. Each daughter took on the lead of using a map to determine the best route and then navigating the trains and streets to get us to where we needed to go. It worked. They (and I) stepped up to the challenge and handled it with grace, for the most part. My husband and I might've made them feel a little unappreciated to playfully show how a flippant comment can ignite when overly stressed.

So bringing this home, when we returned to the States, we realized how our family nucleus expands when we're in our comforts - the comfort of our house, our neighborhood, our routine, our life. We have space to access other resources for support, safety, encouragement, and relief. And this spaciousness is just as important for our souls as knowing we can count on each other when traveling. 

The family nucleus provides a steady grounding for us to experience new things and get comfortable with being uncomfortable. The family unit can be our oxygen mask when things get turbulent, our crutch when feeling wobbly in situations, and our featherbed to catch us when exhausted. 

Full Circle

So. To come full circle, I'll share a quote by Anthony Bourdain. This quote was given to me on a small notecard by a dear friend when we returned home from this summer's travels. You would've thought she was a dust bunny in our suitcase because this quote paints an incredibly accurate picture of what happens when traveling *anywhere* with family - when traveling outside the country.

Travel isn't always pretty. It isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts. It even breaks your heart. But that's okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.

-Anthony Bourdain

So. Traveling abroad with family allows you to expand your perception of life, be curious, be adventurous, try new things, meet new people, adapt, and be resourceful. And it also comes with stress, discomfort, challenges, and surrendering, which is where you count on your family or those you select as your "family' for support - and sometimes your outlet. And when you return home, the family nucleus expands, allowing for more space to breathe in even more comfort and process your experiences into memories that change you and perhaps even last forever.

And now is when I usually say, "I'll see you in next week's episode." But this time, I'm celebrating the end of Season 1, so I can pause and enjoy the holidays with family and friends. So please take this as an invitation to find something you might pause over the holiday to allow yourself a bit more space to be. To be in the spirit in whatever way that looks for you.

Speaking of spirit, I have a spirited Season 2 in the works! It'll start on the anniversary of launching my podcast - that's February 2nd! I'll have a blend of solo casts like Season 1, along with conversations with sparkly people about meaningful things like the difference between loneliness and solitude and ways that a conscious mind is a creative mind. I'll also interview people who share their personal transformation and soulful evolution. These stories and experiences provide real-life examples of what happens when you bridge your inner and outer worlds. It's going to be exciting! I wholeheartedly look forward to having you back in February! 

Thank you for being so supportive, for the favorable ratings and reviews, and for sharing me with your friends. I truly hope you have the most magical holiday. See you on February 2nd!

And remember, I honor the divine in you.